a post

I'm so occupied! It's 3:50am now and still I'm not sleeping yet ! Mtv channel , facebook , Gmarket , Phone , Music and Msn is what I'm doing now! Damn did you realise that chinese songs are so emotional? The songs kinda affect my mood right now and mtv channel is playing chinese love story ; like im out of love and oh i feel damn fucking hurt and I fucking need him now. 

Is not that I discriminate chinese song !! I like them but it makes me feel as if I really very lonely ? Yea and that explain why a few chinese songs is in my mp3. Don't get me wrong , I still like them is just that I stop listening since the day when I broke up with my ex bf.  Okay but i still enjoy going kbox. 

Anyway I know that my blog have been so wordy these day , I'll try to active my camera and upload it .

Life has been busy so far , exams are coming and I'm so gonna start to revise seriously. Cause my grades sucks to extreme... I gonna pull up my socks .

I predict that life is gonna be so so busy again , another big thing and time consuming  Dancework !!

That why I say ... 24hours a days is f not enough. Sigh , I'm thinking to quit my job so that I can go for extra dance lesson and also to rest.

4am now and I so gonna sleep .ok ,I miss k now .♥ 
k lend me his ipod and idont know how to use it laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Okok  4:01 am , good night 

in school now !

I got home sick . I miss my mommy daddy and sister . Lastly my bed

what's wrong?

At that point of time when you don't know which direction's best for you. You cry but you don't actually know what you're crying about. 
The feeling has been haunting me so often that I  can easily feel the emptiness in me . Seriously I don't understand why I'm working so hard and get myself super high expectation. I can't control how I want to feel and how I want myself to be ; it;s like a natural thing that it's in me.
It had been 2 weeks since I had look into the mirror and dance , seriously I was shocked by counting the days. I don't even know how to look directly into the mirror and feel the music. I feel like I'm off beat all the time and the steps and beats just don't match .I think when I start to dance , It's like fucking ugly or maybe I just don't have the confident. I'll get damn pissed off with myself and angry. Yes I know the mentally isn't right and I'm really trying not to dance so much as I really can't take it. I really pray that I have the dancing genes in me or allow me to give myself courage to move on.
I know it's like damn stupid of writing this la . You may think like what the hell is wrong with this girl so obsessed with dancing and herself.
But sometimes it's kinda hurt when I see people around me improving and not me.  it's not jealously , I'm happy for them . It's just that I'll feel extremely hurt and foolish again cause f I'm lousy and a f loser. I need my confident back .

Fuck flu . it's kinda killing me

holiday end today

Nothing can describe how i feel now cause tomorrow have school.I really wish that sem 2 end fast cause I don't really like my class and cause of that my grades are really f bad. I have to study bearing in mind that I'm useless and whatever it is . WHAT SO EVER I STILL MISS MY SCHOOL JAPANESE FOOD :)

Sometimes I just wonder why some people out there can achieve what they want or like they have talents and potential in them and so on...  Sometimes I wonder why do I even exist in the world where I don't even make a different in the world.

God is like totally unfair to me where he give me ugly features like i'm short ,ugly, fat , poor , stupid and stuff. Maybe the only thing that he give to me which is so damn precious it's my family.

Yeah all I know it's to complaint and complaint cause I really have no mood today and I totally have nothing better to do but to blog! aww how pathetic .

I love school ; it's rocks ! yea~  goodbye

and I need to leave sg

good bye 2009

Time really passes so fast and it's already 2010 now. Another year had been a history again.
2009 brought me memories for both happy and sad ones.

I remember how I struggle my days in the early months in 09 , it was horrendously a very bad experience that I never want it to happen any more. Basically it was one of the thing that I regret for life ..like and getting along with D that made it the most regretful thing in my f life. And yeah and of cause how I passed my painful days when I'm out of love with my ex bf and stuff...



How I got  drunk and making a fool of myself.... I remembered. How I cried and sleep through the pain at night .
I remembered all the pain so clearly even until today 
And 2009 is when I decided not to mixed around with them and kept all my good/best memories inside. 

Back then I was a regular customer of K box and how we go there and sing uncountable songs and stuff . It was really fun and i miss the days so much. My k box life kinda stop after I turn 18..
When I turned 18 and finally step into my first club at zouk and met a guy who is so damn hot. And when my numbers of visit increase from 1 to uncountable ; I realise clubbing isn't about what I think it was and then I started going there because of my friends and the music.

It was one of the hints in 2009 and I really have lots of fun and met a lot of fun people!!!!!!

Not forgetting to credits my friends that are always here for me. They are here with me always especially Jaslin :) I love you a lot a lot!  
Also the misunderstood I had with my secondary friends. I still love you now , cxl lyr!  We'll catch up in 2010 :)



Life start to get better as I step into RP ; met my first friend in school vivian and now we're still keeping in touch! Never will I forget W45A my first class where I met lovely people there :)


I never forget how pessimistic i am when i first go to SGC audition . How much worries and fear I was away from my passion but yeah I did it. I met fun people where we start to dance together and fight for our passion. Until now still pessimistic and as low confident as you can think ; I suck at dance big time.  



I always keep memories like how BHB practise for showcase and crazy times with nat , kelvin , fara and shark and of cos xoxo gossip girls with zhi wen. How I told Jason that I am giving up B-boy and still trying now . The reason of cutting my long precious hair for getting up sad and stuff. My hair is growing but my dance still not improving !


The obstacles i had with my family and still they are loving me so much. The quarrels I had with my sister and good times we spend together. I don't know how my life was without them . I love you!!!!


Lastly , thanks kenny for being here for me whenever I need him. He's like the light (tink tink ) in my 2009 darkness.  HAHAHA

2009; a history that makes me stronger and yeah a happier girl ! 
FINALLY 2010 ; It's gonna be a good year right?