At that point of time when you don't know which direction's best for you. You cry but you don't actually know what you're crying about.
The feeling has been haunting me so often that I can easily feel the emptiness in me . Seriously I don't understand why I'm working so hard and get myself super high expectation. I can't control how I want to feel and how I want myself to be ; it;s like a natural thing that it's in me.
It had been 2 weeks since I had look into the mirror and dance , seriously I was shocked by counting the days. I don't even know how to look directly into the mirror and feel the music. I feel like I'm off beat all the time and the steps and beats just don't match .I think when I start to dance , It's like fucking ugly or maybe I just don't have the confident. I'll get damn pissed off with myself and angry. Yes I know the mentally isn't right and I'm really trying not to dance so much as I really can't take it. I really pray that I have the dancing genes in me or allow me to give myself courage to move on.
I know it's like damn stupid of writing this la . You may think like what the hell is wrong with this girl so obsessed with dancing and herself.
But sometimes it's kinda hurt when I see people around me improving and not me. it's not jealously , I'm happy for them . It's just that I'll feel extremely hurt and foolish again cause f I'm lousy and a f loser. I need my confident back .
