xoxo

2 March 2009

I had my hair done with my curls. Ya , I like it and I somehow have bangs. Yeah , such a ugly make over but seriously I think I look different.

All things happen are fated and I don't think you guys should put the blame on yourself. As in it's already happen and things could not change the fact that he's already death. I know I know that you guys feel fucking lousy. I hope that this will made you guys learn how not to take drugs and go gamble no more. I hope everyone down stairs will taught a lesson now that he had been take away... I hope everyone will learn to treasure friends around you. I really hope after all you guys had been through we'll learn from him and grow up. Please don't make anymore silly mistake cause after all I don't want to lost a friend. Especially sammi ... I know you're fucking up sad and putting blames on yourself but he will not wish to see you guys in this state now.

If I'm feeling lousy .. that what kind of feeling they have who are closer to him?
What's my feeling of getting sad on small little thing compare to them? 2009 was predict to be a good year but when I look in this 2009 diary so many bad things had happen. Is it because I'm growing up? Now I really understand this cliche that I once use in primary school .. life sucks

by myself

I've learnt that the people you love most are going to be the ones who hurt you the worst, but you're going to have to learn to forgive them for that, simply because you love them. I've learnt trust, and the vulnerability of it; how it takes years to build, but only takes suspicion to break. I've learnt that the most cliche saying ever, "never judge a book by its cover", might just be the most true. I've learnt that no matter how bad your problems are, there's always someone out there having it worse. I've learnt that good doesn't always triumph in the end. I've learnt that sometimes forgiving yourself might be the hardest to do. I've learnt never to give up on the future, no matter how bleak it may seem, because whatever negative thing's happening to you now will pass in time. I've learnt never to set your goal too early in life, because sometimes it doesn't help but instead prevents you from trying out other things.I've learnt that home is always the best, and that family will always stand by you, even though you might not have talked to them for a long time. I've learnt that sometimes the best company is your own. I've learnt that passion is never enough to get what you want; talent counts for more than anyone thinks. I've learnt that sometimes the things we hold onto aren't really what we want to keep; it's just that we're afraid of letting go of the familiar. I've learnt that to let go doesn't necessarily mean to forgive and forget; it simply means to accept.And finally, I've learnt that if you want to love others, you must first learn to love yourself.

2 March 2009

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