xoxo: better in time

7 March 2010

better in time

I might look like I'm completely fine but I'm fucking not fine when the sky turn dark and I'm all alone facing the world myself. I seat at the edge of my bed silently hoping that someone can rescued me from this torturing. I really can't digest this now okay now ! Peace , I use the word now cause I know someday it's gonna be over and I believe that problems will go away . I'm sure that it will visit you soon after you have overcome one ; so take care my friends.
Breathe kaiying , you're still consider lucky compare to others. I think I never learn my lesson . It's okay make mistake learn and die. move on , be good be better . learn.

There is so much more I want to share about my feelings . It's so damn fucking painful that sometimes i can't take it but I chose to keep to myself cause I know it doesn't help when I speak , it'll be still there .
It hint us bad but we still have the love, somehow . It hurt slowly , deeper and longer to heal . I can't figure out why and when fb have status complicated ; i finally know the reason now. When I was younger I thought I was too young to understand love and now I'm 19 ; ok nevermind I think when I'm 28 I'll know okay maybe later later later and later when I get old .
Fine ! I still don't understand ; and I'll put you in the deepest soul and continue moving on ... I'll deal with my passion and thank God i have one . oh and it's my passion and family keep me going. Take note that I didn't use friends cause I really don't know who is the real one of there ; only a few. When I recall how a 10 years friendship fail when she have a new love . It's unfair cause I treated her so real and love her so much that I would stand up for her for anything. I will be remember for life .

I'll definitely think of you and I'm gonna miss you so much . yes so much

by myself

I've learnt that the people you love most are going to be the ones who hurt you the worst, but you're going to have to learn to forgive them for that, simply because you love them. I've learnt trust, and the vulnerability of it; how it takes years to build, but only takes suspicion to break. I've learnt that the most cliche saying ever, "never judge a book by its cover", might just be the most true. I've learnt that no matter how bad your problems are, there's always someone out there having it worse. I've learnt that good doesn't always triumph in the end. I've learnt that sometimes forgiving yourself might be the hardest to do. I've learnt never to give up on the future, no matter how bleak it may seem, because whatever negative thing's happening to you now will pass in time. I've learnt never to set your goal too early in life, because sometimes it doesn't help but instead prevents you from trying out other things.I've learnt that home is always the best, and that family will always stand by you, even though you might not have talked to them for a long time. I've learnt that sometimes the best company is your own. I've learnt that passion is never enough to get what you want; talent counts for more than anyone thinks. I've learnt that sometimes the things we hold onto aren't really what we want to keep; it's just that we're afraid of letting go of the familiar. I've learnt that to let go doesn't necessarily mean to forgive and forget; it simply means to accept.And finally, I've learnt that if you want to love others, you must first learn to love yourself.

7 March 2010

better in time

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